“If it happens to you, you caused it!” Disagreement reflected on many faces.
Like a well-trained sheep dog guarding the herd, ‘Lucky’ paced across the front of the class.
A highly respected facilitator on our life skills programme we ran in prisons, he was talking on Life’s Controls and explained, “… you do not like the sound of that because you are looking for an excuse to avoid taking responsibility for your life.” Again the discomfort showed.
But ‘Lucky’ was not backing down. “Let me say that again … if it happens to you, you are the cause.”
Eighty-something prisoners sat quietly as they, along with more than twenty visitors, hung on every word.
Twenty-seven years old, he was facing almost as many years of incarceration for serious crimes. But he had turned his life around.
Most people do not accept that they cause the events of their life. They believe in accidents, fate, coincidence etc. There is no such thing. There is only the law of cause and effect. Somehow calling it an accident seems easier.
‘Lucky’ drove home the point. “You call it an accident because you tell yourself that it is not your fault. You’re fooling yourself!”
Standing off to one side he said, “I could blame circumstances and poverty for the crimes I committed – for the man I killed, I now know that is not the truth.”
Into the silence he said softly, “I am the cause of what happened in my life – you are in yours. Stop looking for a cop-out!”
Slightly built and of quiet voice, somehow even the orange prison track suit emphasized the giant in him.
“Instead of looking for an excuse, learn from the experience.” Then he added quite simply, “In every mess there is a message. Forget the mess … get the message.”
It does not hit any harder than that. We make mistakes – I’ve made more than most – they are an integral part of life.
But learn the lesson from it. By finding the lesson to learn we grow and succeed.
By learning we grow deeper into ourselves and our Creator. If we do not learn, the lesson gets repeated until we do.
Errol Clarke – a resident in the South is a holistic Life Skills trainer of more than 25 years. He has trained thousands of people in many companies, government and prisons. A lifetime student, his empowerment for employment book “Sir, I’m Looking for a Job” is due for release shortly.
E-mail: ectn9@yahoo.com
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