I was six years old and it was the early nineties. I had just started first grade at a school in Alberton. One day at aftercare, I was approached by another older girl.
She said she wanted to be my friend and show me something. She led me to the bathroom, threatened me and proceeded to molest me.
As traumatic and life-changing as that incident was, it got easy to forgive her – I figured that something similar must have happened to her and her reaction was to do the same to others.
This, however, was only the beginning of the story – what happened next, scarred me for life and left me seeing evil everywhere and in everyone.
After being sexually exploited in the bathroom, I rushed to a teacher and told her what just happened. Her only advice to me was to bring the girl to her, but I didn’t know her. I was then sent home with nothing – no counselling, no calls to the police, no recommendation to go to the hospital.
I went home and just stared at the wall. I had no idea what happened to me or how to deal with it. I didn’t know if I should tell my parents because I had already told a teacher and I figured it was unnecessary to tell anyone else.
The next day, the same girl approached me again and I told her a lie to get out of the situation. I rushed to the same teacher again and she took us both to the principal’s office.
The principal was on his way out at the time when the teacher said to him: “This is the incident I told you about.” He looked at us and asked the older girl first what was going on. She lied to him and said she only asked me what my name was and if she could play with me.
He looked at us and told the teacher that he would speak to her the next day and he left. He never spoke to her. That was that.
I went home and I was broken. I became an angry child. I went to see a therapist once, but we weren’t a well-off family and my parents could not do much else to help me.
The girl remained at the school and I did everything I could to avoid her until she suddenly left a year later. No-one ever spoke to me again about the incident.
I ended up an odd kid who didn’t talk much or know how to interact with other kids. I gained a lot of weight and struggled in school. The teachers were cruel to me and one teacher even mocked me once about my weight in front of the other children. They all laughed at me.
I did everything I could and made up stories and illnesses to stay out of school or go to the sick room.
When I reached my twenties, I wanted to discuss all these issues with my family and called them together. My eldest sister knew nothing about it and my mother said that, even though she was notified by the school, she did not know how to handle it.
My mom also said she was shocked by how casual the school was about it and how they never offered me any advice or guidance. My second eldest sister said she had been called in before and questioned about it.
Two years after that, I wrote the school a letter. A new principal called me back, expressing his concerns and advising me to contact my previous high school to get a hold of my personal file and see if anything about the incident was on record.
No-one got back to me, however, they sent me a scathing email, telling me that there was nothing on record and, if I were to go to the press, they would file legal action against me. Clearly they were more concerned about the school’s reputation than the life of an innocent child.
Now, I’m in my thirties and I’m seeing how the veil over sexual abuse and harassment is being lifted in society. This is another attempt from my side to tell my story and I’m hoping someone will listen.
I hope this is the first snowball in the avalanche of truth and that other people will be brave enough to come forward and share their stories too – not for the reaction, but for the healing that is so needed.
Anonymous
For free daily local news in the south, visit our sister newspapers Alberton Record, Comaro Chronicle, Southern Courier and Get it Joburg South Magazine.
Remember to visit our Facebook, Twitter and Instagram pages. You can also email our offices on cvdwalt@caxton.co.za, juliem@caxton.co.za or luckyt@caxton.co.za
Add us on WhatsApp today! Comaro Chronicle: 079 427 8074 and Southern Courier: 079 404 5789.
