Relationship lessons from Mandela’s love life
Single men can learn a few lessons from the life of Nelson Mandela, here are some tips for young men looking for love.
Just like most men, Nelson Mandela loved beautiful women. The evidence is there for all to see; from Evelyn Mase his first wife, to the popular Winner Madikizela-Mandela, Indian anti-apartheid and Women’s Rights activist Amina Cachalia and his last wife Graca Machel – the only woman to marry two presidents.
Mandela was romantic and carried a lot of swag too. He was tall, dark and handsome.
He would be the first to admit he made a lot of mistakes, among those would have been numerous relationship and marriage mistakes too.
“I am not a saint”, he once said, “Unless you think of a saint as a sinner who keeps on trying.” Mandela first got married when he was 26 and pursuing a law degree.
As we celebrate the life of this great man, let’s look at 7 Relationship Lessons singles can learn from him as you plan for a relationship:
- Don’t settle for an average partner. It takes one great partner to see greatness in another partner. From the women in Mandela’s life, you can see that there was greatness from both sides of the relationship.
- Don’t settle for any Tom, Dick or Harry, or any Jane, Kim or Mary for that matter. Aim very high so that you find a partner that together, you will achieve what God has called both of you to do – provided one of you doesn’t spend 27 years in prison J
- Yes, there is love at first sight. “I think I loved him the first time I saw him”, his first wife, Evelyn, was quoted in a 1990 biography of Mr Mandela called “Higher Than Hope”. Some of you singles have been seeking for love for so long now, you feel no one is approaching you as a woman, or you don’t have the confidence to ask her out as a man. Make use of the first time love intuitive evidence.
- Learn to go with the flow of your partner. Winnie Madikizela-Mandela once said, “One day Nelson just pulled up on the side of the road and said, ‘You know, there is a woman who is a dressmaker.You must go and see her. She is going to make your wedding gown. How many bridesmaids would you like to have?’ That’s how I was told I was getting married to him!
- It was not put arrogantly; it was just something that was taken for granted. I just asked: ‘What time?’” Very romantic? I wish more men would begin to ask ladies for their hand in marriage. The ladies have been waiting, guys. But don’t do it by pulling on the side of the road.
- Understand each other’s vision. Mandela and Evelyn were married for 13 years and after one of their young children died, Evelyn became more religious while Mandela became more political. Their marriage ended up in divorce.
- It is important to understand and support each other’s vision. We all want to feel that our partner is our #1 fan. It is unfortunate their differences led to divorce. Divorce is something I don’t advocate for.
- It’s okay to say to NO to a relationship. After divorcing Winnie Madikizela-Mandela, he fell in love with the late Amina Cachalia. Only this time, as the International Business Times reported Cachalia wrote in her book, Mandela didn’t get the answer he was expecting — the two never married because she turned him down. Ladies it is okay to turn down a love proposal if it doesn’t feel right with you. Saying NO is not about the other person. It is about you and what you want for your future.
- 6. Men the time to get married is now! “Within days of our first meeting we were going steady and within months he proposed.” This is according to Evelyn, his first wife. A lot of great relationships have been lost because of the snail pace of many men. If you feel she is ‘the one’ why waste time? Get on your knee and pop the question today dude!
- Love privately and publicly. “He can love very deeply, but he tries to control it very well in his public appearance”, Graça Machel told an author. “In private he can allow himself to be a human being. He likes people to know he is happy.”
- The balance of private and public love is key to any relationship; men need to work hard on this. Get to know each other’s love language and communicate through this great knowledge about each other.
Again, Nelson Mandela must have made a lot of relationship mistakes, but as we celebrate his life, let’s learn from him so we can avoid the many relationship pitfalls along the way.
Mandela did not spend 27 years in prison for you to spend 27 years as a single person. Enter your freedom!
As we remember Mandela today, let’s keep alive the relationship lessons from his life – men die but the lessons from their life live on.
