100 days clean – and counting
We meet at a take-away outlet on a buzzing Saturday morning. First impressions last they say ... and one can't help but wonder how somebody this shy, well mannered and of obvious good upbringing ended up as a cocaine addict.
ALBERTON – Let’s call him Calvyn*. And his story starts like that of so many other people, once again proving that the addiction has no boundaries, nor any preferences – it could simply happen to anyone. All it took was peer pressure, one too many a party and one too many a dare he gave into, and sooner than he thought his life was bearing witness of an addict. And when you live in a community with dealers in just about every street, one may argue that temptation is just so much closer to home.
His addiction started at the age of 22 – two years ago. “Weekend drinking and partying was at the order of the day. That’s what we did. Every weekend.” Soon he was offered the so-called escape from the world – the trip of a lifetime. Not wanting to let his friends down, he gave in.
In a way, one might say that Calvyn was a lucky one. He had a steady job with weekly pay and he could still foot the bill for his habit – and that of his friends. “Payday was a Thursday. And when I had that money in my pocket an automatic trigger went off and I just had to use … I would meet up with my friends and we would spend my week’s pay. Sometimes it lasted until Friday and sometimes we stretched it through to Sunday. It all depended on how many we were.”
Then Letitia*, Calvyn’s mom, starts talking with an obvious sadness that fills her eyes. “You know, I never wanted to know. Yet somehow you do know. That night when I found him on the steps outside our house, his head hanging and when he looked up with his bloodshot eyes I knew, but I denied it. Not my son.”
But her denial could not last forever. Calvyn started to show the obvious signs. “My once neat son started to look like a hobo; wearing the same clothes, the same shoes, fastening his pants with a safety pin, staying out late. There where days when I had to remind him to wash himself. Sometimes I would not see him for days. I also realised that he depleted his savings. My prayers never stopped. I kept on praying for my son to be healed, to be helped.
“I am convinced that a High Power was involved in Calvyn finding his way. As I said, he had a steady income, and addicts are known for stealing and selling goods to get money for their drugs. One day I was out and on my return I could see that Calvyn was scratching and searching through the house – obviously looking for money…” It was not long after that dreaded day that Letitia could say: “Thank you, my prayers have been answered.”
A prayer answered:
Letitia received a call from Calvyn. He heard about New Life Recovery in Eden Park. He was going to find help. “It was a miracle that my son chose to do this out of his own free will.
“A friend of mine invited me. Her brother was on Tik and she told me that he found help at New Life and that I should join them. Eventually I gave in and once there, my life took a turn for the better,” says Calvyn.
“When it was my turn to get up and share I knew that I found a place where I belong, where I will be helped, where I will find myself.” Today he sits in front of me, telling me that it is now 100 days … “I am clean for more than 100 days and counting. Yes, I had to go through all the awful things of withdrawal, the ups and downs in my emotions, aggression, the self-loathing, the disappointment I have been for my mother … but I am in recovery and that is what matters.
“I hope, that in sharing this, somebody out there will realise it is not worth it. You hurt yourself, you hurt those closest to you. Your addiction shatters relationships, trust – those closest and dearest to you suffer, and to rebuild that trust is not an easy road. And I am grateful that I am not walking this road alone…”
Calvyn is starting to venture into his new life, and once through the recovery phase he will start the 12 steps programme at New Live. A zozo in his mother’s yard is testimony of a new beginning for a young man with a second chance. “It means that I am being trusted, that I am on my way to recovery … that I have the support I need.”
Second chances at New Life:
New Life Recovery in Eden Park meets on Tuesday evenings at Eden Park High School. It offers a rehabilitation programme for addicts who want to recover.
Addicts who join the group can be sure that support groups will be there to guide them through their recovery. They will be taught how to break the relationships with old friends, not to take the same routes they used to while they were using. There will be assistance in giving them a structured plan for every day, and they will be taught the value of these plans.
These things would include regular workouts in the community gym to get rid of their anger and frustration, scheduled talks, regular tests, the reason why last minute decisions for a quick party is something they shouldn’t do to name but a few.
At New Life they realise that users don’t just need to recover from their addiction, but that they have to face physical, spiritual, mental, emotional and financial recovery.
If you are an addict and you have decided that you are ready to give it up. contact Natalie on 082 774 9616 or Gary on 074 652 6458.
New Life also requests any donations of old but workable gym equipment for the community gym in Eden Park. Should you have any to donate, please contact the above numbers.
* Not their real names.
